So last night I played guitar at a church that shall remain nameless, and we were opening up with a worship set prior to the good old time-tested and deacon-board semi-approved “Christianity Vs. Atheism” debate where we had invited atheists to come debate the existence of God. These types of debates historically have resulted in no bad blood whatsoever, and peaceful harmonious outcomes whereby the love of God is poured out upon the atheists and they immediately renounce their disbelief and become good militant Bible-loving Christians due to our incessant laughing and belittling of everything they have to say. Win-win for everyone.
Except this night, we were taking it a step further. We weren’t just going to worship God with the music. We were also going to play a Rihanna song. For some reason. A reason I did not understand. So I asked the simple question, “Why?”
“Well it’s not a sin!”
To which I responded, “Fair enough. But…why?”
“So that the atheists feel more comfortable.”
To which I responded, “I think it’s more than the lack of crappy Rihanna covers played by us 5 weekend warrior volunteer musicians with skin tight Ramones t-shirts on that is making them feel uncomfortable.”
“Would you feel differently if there were more guitar parts for you in the song?”
That last part was said seriously. Not jokingly, not even meanly. The pastoral leadership truly believed that the only reason I didn’t think the key to cracking the souls of the atheists was a bad Rihanna cover, was that I believed there to be a distinct lack of guitar parts in said bad Rihanna cover. (Which there was, but that’s beside the point.) But they said it so seriously, that I started to think about it. And think I did. And once I repented with tears and sackcloth of my wicked ways of protesting against playing Rihanna in the church worship set, I realized the pastors were correct. And so I played the solo to The Darkness’ I Believe in a Thing Called Love on repeat over the entirety of Rihanna’s Diamonds. And many souls were won that night.
Guitar!!
Splendid.
Karl.
P.S. In other notes, I ripped my boot cut jeans and have to use some of the $300 I was saving for a Klon to get new ones. Oh well. Hopefully the economy bounces back after this whole Occupy Wall Street thing is succesful.
Guitar for Worship 